Saturday, June 19, 2010

Life Must Go On

She called home and did not get a response.  She tried his cell phone...he did not answer.  He always answered.  She texted his son and he replied back: "tlk 2 u later". She began to worry.  He had a fever and has been sick since she left five days ago.  Nonetheless they must have talked to each other every six hours since then.  She had encouraged him to go to the hospital but he assumed it's just a simple fever.  The last time she talked to him was last night at eleven after coming from her work.  Five minutes have passed since the last text comes another one: "He's gone."

She lost her fiancé.  They had plans to get married on July 7th and have a simple wedding.   Her ring and her mother's wedding dress, which she decided to wear on her own special day, are ready.  Big plans were laid between the two of them but now everything has gone away with him.

Mercy and I were close friends back when we were in the Philippines.  She was my secretary.  Recently we were reconnected through Facebook and found out that she lived not too far away from me.  I invited her to come see to our place; after all we had a lot of catching up to do.  He was supposed to drop her off to my house on his way to Canada on the 24th of June.  It was exciting to imagine the thought of seeing my old co-worker/friend and her future husband.  

Today she called me.  She was sobbing.  She needed someone to talk to.  I listened.  That's all I can do.  The question that she repeatedly asked me was "Why did God take him away from me so soon?"  I said nothing even when I wanted to say something.  The wound is so raw.  Anything that you put on it will only make it more painful. 

Now she's alone.  The pain and the memories will remain but life must go on.    Where do you start when all the roads that you have considered have disappeared on the map?  How do you choose which way to go?  How do you forget all the things that you have known?  It is like having someone snatch your lamp away in the middle of the thick woods.  Life must go on.

Just like going into a dark first we can't see anything because we lost the familiar light - the light we relied on to help us command our circumstances.   We feel lost and scared.  So we struggle and try to grab on to whatever mastery we can of the situation.  This is a fifty-fifty chance of success...sad to say but it's true.

When my kids were little (Miriam is almost not little anymore) I'd sing them a good-night song and turn off the lights.  The darkness scared them initially and they wanted the lights back on.  I advised them to close their eyes and then look again to see if they can see me or not.  They all discovered at a very young age that "There's enough light".   When the light is gone the fastest way to have your command back is to master darkness.   We find out eventually that we have what we need.  We find ourselves more in-tuned to the options that are already there which we missed because of the blinding offer of what we used to have.   

When the lights are off the exit doors become visible.   After this time of darkness, I hope that Mercy will find the door that leads to a new life of great purpose, opportunities, and fulfillment.  Life must go on. 

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