That time came. However, seeing the photographs again brought me back to that time with a different view. There remains an empty space in my heart but no longer do I grieve. Experiences with my mother were no longer renewed but memory of the short time we've shared is very much alive even after 20 years. The thought of her still make me feel a child and the fond of being loved by her but now I've also come to experience the life of a mother - which is among the happiest part of my life to this day. In other words, I am no longer the same person. Although the photographs remained the same, I have changed.
One picture in particular struck me. It is a picture of my mother. She looks so beautiful. Pearl earrings gave a sparkle on her face as if she's ready for something special. A white veil that covered part of her face made her look like a bride. A bride ready to meet the one she loves. It makes me sad that her eyes are closed. And yet something inside me feels glad that she no longer is focused on this world. Her eyes are already fully dedicated to the sight of her Lord. In fact all her senses, all of her is now with her God. Oh my Lord God, I hope you found her in her best when she came home to you.
|The Elusive Wedding Gown|
(A quick sketch)
Once we die it's game over. Whatever is done after that no longer have any effect on our eternal destination or position. Hence the last outfit my mother wore had no consequence on her final journey. But to me, who is yet to make choices and decisions on this side of my life, seeing her photograph impacts the way I see life. Once my mother brought shame to her parents but in the end she was the one child who made the right choice to live a godly life. Memories of that life nudges me to look at my own and see how I am preparing myself to meet my Lord.