On February 23, 1991, Tim and I made a vow to each other to love and cherish...till death do as part. Today we reached a significant milestone in this journey. It is our 25th anniversary! Twenty five years is a long time. Let's see: we raised three children - two of them now on adulthood category and one in high school but snarky enough to be an adult. :)
Transience and Permanence. There are things that we have seen and experienced over and over again. And yet there are new things that we both have to learn and experience on a daily basis. On a Facebook post today, Tim appropriately referred to me as his "fellow traveler". Indeed we are just traveling here in this life. As we move further on this journey, change travels with us in a similar tempo. We are changing, people and things around us are changing. Our thoughts, dreams and ways are constantly adjusting to such changes. But there are two things that remain constant in this marriage - our dependence/devotion to God and our commitment to each other. Both things require regular evaluation and examination of our internals (desires and motives) and spirituals (guidance/accountability). It is hard work. We fail and get up again. As we get to spend more time with each other, we are also learning to integrate our years of experiences with the present-day affairs. That alone cannot be learned without going through this ride called marriage.
If I were to give one piece of advise to my newly married self...
Helen: "Snap-shots are dangerous things to draw conclusions from. Do not define the marriage by one time events."
Tim: "The moment you realize you are maintaining your rights or trying not to be taken advantage of in an argument with your spouse, is the moment to give in."