August Trip 2019 - Part 2 (Arcata)

Now that Brahms lives in Humboldt County, it is a lot easier to conjure a reason to travel north than it used to.  Having said that, he has traveled back home since he moved more times that we traveled to visit him.  This time he will be a student again working on acquiring a California Teaching Credential and probably he will be busier than before.

Brahms has the gift of making his family feel at home no matter where we are.  He makes sure that we do the things we do as a family regardless of our situation.  For example, he brought a game and some dessert to enjoy while we played.  When he could not be with us on Sunday morning, because he was working to prep for the church service, he directed us to go walking at the Arcata Marsh and Wildlife Sanctuary   It was a delightful place especially for us who appreciate wild flowers and for Miriam who paid attention to the numerous species of birds that inhabited the place.  We could have lingered there were it not for other things on our agenda for the day.

Brahms works as Children's Director at Catalyst Church.  We attended  service there which was held outside on the church's courtyard.  There was a fabric awning to attenuate the sunshine but the pastor and the worship team did their thing under the direct sunlight.  We guessed that because this is Arcata where they get few sunny days in a year they were trying to harvest as much sunshine as they can get.  Later on we went to eat at one of his recommended burger place where we again dined on the patio where I had a fancy salmon burger and a very good green salad - I recognized pea sprouts in it!   It was generally a beautiful day with temperatures between 65-75 degrees (F) and knowing that the temperature back home was a lot higher.  Then we walked to Brahms' new place, since we have not seen it before.  He showed us the backyard which has a lot of potential as a garden.  In fact Brahms already staked his claim on one of the planter boxes with the token bean plants which he started in coke cans back when he was in his old apartment.  We strolled a few blocks to go to a used bookstore called Tin Can Mailman.  There I bought a book, 'The Orchid Paintings of Franz Bauer'.  Miriam browsed the music section but nothing begged her to buy it.  

That was the first half of the day.   

August Trip 2019 - Part 1 (Fortuna and Eureka)

This weekend we headed north to go see family.  First of all, my mother-in-law's birthday is coming up and a trip to see them would be apropos.  Secondly, we have been informed that G-ma is moving to Brookings, Oregon.  We thought that we would go see her on R Street one more time before she moves.

Marilyn (Mom) and Johnnye seem to be doing fine.  They talked about the joy of seeing Jennifer and her children, Maya and Jason.  Although they have the usual medical issues, there seem to be nothing unusual at this point.  If they did, they did not tell us of any particular decision or views as to their plans for assisted-living scenario.  However, one thing is clear from our conversations with Marilyn - proximity and accessibility to children is now a consideration.  In the past, we were the ones pointing this out as a factor for consideration, this time Marilyn said it voluntarily.

I asked Lois (G-ma) if she was excited for the move and she said yes.  She is looking forward to being in a new place closer to Carl and Paula which she described as beautiful.  However, she is at the stage where she has to go through her stuff which were accumulated over many decades of living - full of memories and emotions attached to them.  After a almost a life time of believing that everything that is in the house on R Street is worth keeping, she now has to reconsider the value of everything she owns.  She will soon learn to separate the memories from the material things.  Sometimes, we all feel that our memories die with the objects but that is not true.  I know that for a fact, having lived in a place where things easily decay or rot or get ruined.

Anyway, she gave me three pieces of her Kingston Red glassware set.  These are the things that sit in a glass cabinet - I've never seen them in use except during this trip when one of the candy dishes was on her coffee table.  She has been hinting to give me her other precious dinner sets but I have always been intimidated to have them and Tim is not keen on acquiring such things either.

Over all the trip was short but wholesome.  Michelle Obama in her book 'Becoming' said that "there is grace in being willing to know and hear others."

Goodbye 2018

Writing the date of this occasion made me realize that new year's eve is the last day of the old year.  And that New Year's Day is, duh, first day of the new year.  In this house, these two days seem like one.  So I will not attempt to separate the two.

What usually is a busy day in our family when everyone is doing something to comply to the traditions we had developed over the years, was not so much this year.  We started by going to one o our friends house (Annelydie and Larry's) where we had breakfast and played games with them.  We cooked some of our usual New year's eve food but not as extensive.  Nick Pham, Miriam's friend joined us.  We introduced him to the Lewis tradition of watching Pride and Prejudice, now synchronous with Shannon in Madison, WI and Brahms in Arcata, CA.   It is not the same as when everyone is in the same room eating from the same platter of Tim's herbed sausage concoction and lumpia but it is what it is.  My only consolation is that at the time when we would all be together, my other kids no matter how far they are, were with us.  Thanks to technology which is getting better every year.

Top Ten Happenings for 2018:

Helen
1.   Board Secretary of WASH (Watercolor Artists of California Horizons)
2.   Started classes in Botanical Art at Filoli
3.   Twenty seventh  wedding anniversary in Vancouver, Canada
4.   Two trips to Nashville
5.   Whole family Trip to Madison to visit Shannon.
6.   Hazel and Mitch's wedding in Toronto where I met my new sister - Jona.
6.   Gastronomic delight and walks with Tim in Taipei
7.    Lost Lala, our dove of 16 years.
8.    Audible books and introduction to Greek Mythology (Circe)
10.  Empty-Nestedness; The house is really quiet.

Tim (To be added later)
1.  Shipped another kid to college and another to Eureka and became empty nester.
2.  Visited Cheekwood
3.  Drank coffee at Lion Coffee in Toronto and saw Mitch and Hazel's wedding.
4.  Used the chain saw and didn't fall off the ladder.
5.  Lost Bunny to heart attack.
6.  Went to eureka for Christmas.
7.  Finished two short stories.
8.  Chauffered Helen to Filoli, a lot!
9.  Sang in choir.
10.  Celebrated 50th birthday and 27th anniversary.

Shannon (To be added later)
1.  Moved to apartment - the 3rd time in Wisconsin.
2.  Paid off car loan.  Now officially owns car.
3.  Game Con in Cleveland
4.  Game Con - Philadelphia - 16-hr drive. 
5.  Improvisation
6.  ....

Brahms
1.  Found Blue liquid (whatever that was)
2.  Creation of UC Davis Bathrooms (IG)
3. Grew some baby greens
4.  Potluck in a roundabout
5. Drove a parade float
6. Dug a hole
7. Pizza named after me
8. Won a selfie contest with cousin and a giant snail
9. #branch (beginning and end)
10. Got my keys out of my car

Miriam
1.  Tree prison
2.  Anvil? NOPE! Cowbell!
3.  Two Cutie Nominations by UC Banduh mates
4.  Two solo gigs hehe
5.  Realized HS Band was not as great as college band
6.  High School Spriiiiiiiiiiiing trip
7.   SMOKE WEEK in Davis
8.  I got 5 free t-shirts
9.  Beach Cally/SLO first college all niter
10.  I broke up with McDonald's

Nick (Guest of the Night)
1.  Kinda switch to tenor Sax.
2.  Made lots of peanut butter sandwiches.
3.  Springgggg Trippppp.
4.  First vlog videoooooo.
5.  Drove from Folsom to LA in the roundtrip to Hell.
6.  Gave Miriam Hubert
7.  Handed a .... (I can't understand!)
8.  Played Catannn!
9.  (I can't understand his handwriting)
10.  Pride and Prejudice Marathon  Whyyyyyyyyy??!
Note:  Nick's handwriting are not only cryptic they are also ambiguous.

Well, there was 2018.  And now we begin a new chapter -- to live and enjoy what we have and not regret what we do not have.  To get wiser and kinder than we were a year ago.  To make new friends; to learn new skills; to try new foods; to push our ourselves not only to make us more popular and famous but also to make others happier and more at peace.  To be more tolerant of others and set a higher bar for self (I hope).  To smile more.  To participate in activities with other people just for fun.  This is just to list a few.  The longer the list the greater chance we have of achieving something.  :)

We thank God for all the grace, blessings, trials, and guidance he has showered us last year.  All of which He used to prepare us for 2019 and beyond!  Praise Him!

Thanksgiving 2018

Another year has passed since the last Thanksgiving.  Like in everything else we celebrate, each year grants us the chance to do all the traditions that we have developed over the years and also a chance to accommodate changes and new things that reflect the progress in all of us.  Sometime the changes result from deliberate choice and some are imposed on us.

I'm thankful for changes.  Traditionally, I would have used my good camera to take pictures but this time I used my cell phone.  The quality of the pictures would have been better but the spontaneity would not have been there. 

All my children would be home on Thanksgiving but Shannon was not.  However, we were talking to her almost throughout the time we prepared food - just like when we would all be home - through Skype.  We got to see her pet cats while they climbed on her as she talked to us.  My kids are growing more and more independent and slowly developing their own tradition.  On the other hand I too need to slowly release my grip on their schedule. 

We would all sit around a beautifully set table to enjoy the food.  This time we sat on the floor of the family room and ate Thanksgiving dinner while watching The Phantom of the Opera.  We were really casual this year which is more fun and liberating.

I am thankful for tradition.  Tim still grills the turkey.  We still get a huge turkey regardless of the number of people to allow leftovers.  Brahms still helps with making apple pie and mashed potatoes.  Miriam is in charge of the obligatory veggie in the meal.  Our Spiced cranberry sauce and Stuffing with Italian Sausage all remain to be a hit.  They are the simple things that remind us of the occasion and which then connect this year to the next one.  

I thank God for my family.  In the end, however, the most important thing that makes Thanksgiving are the people that gather year after year.  These are the people who share a common connection and understanding of life together.  They are the family who have experienced and acknowledge common blessings.  All else are decorations.  Sometimes we invite people for Thanksgiving, we say, as a gesture of generosity but most often I find it as an obligation to show rather than an act of love.  

Thanksgiving is a recounting of blessings 

in the presence of God - the Giver of all. 

Smoky Sunday Afternoon

The air was still heavy with smoke from the Camp Fire.  Being outdoors is the least thing we would want to do.  After the church service today we, along with Matt and Jean Peterson, were invited to go play games at Larry and Annelydie Bagget's place.  We had tea with Swiss Apple Pie.  Swiss Apple Pie is like fruit tart which, one of these days, I will try to learn to make it.

I always enjoy going to their place because they have an interesting backyard with different fruit trees.  Their house has morphed into something beautiful and a delightful place since the first time we saw their place last year.  Larry is a very handy man and Annelydie is similarly a very hardworking and creative, always looking for something to challenge herself. 

We played Sequence. Spouses did not team up together.  Tim and Jean Peterson won most of the time.  Although Tim was very competitive, Jean was not.  But they won anyway.  I'm inclined to believe that chance instead of strategy made it all happen.  Matt and Larry won twice but Annelydie and I almost won every time.  Sadly, almost never happened.

The Bagget's have an airbnb unit at their place.  It is a very nice room with a great view.  The smoke makes the trees look like they are separated by low lying clouds or fog.  Sometimes I wished we too had a guest room with a separate entrance.  This is also because I've been watching the British show "Escape to the Country".  :)

Within my line of sight no more

What used to be one unit is now pulled apart into four.  I'm referring to our family - my husband and I plus my three dear children.  They are all part of me and for a long time I took for granted the fact that they were all within my line of sight under one roof.  Then one by one university education, and now job, pulled them away.  Then all of a sudden my life is changed.  I didn't anticipate this effect on me and I guess I did not prepare for this.  

Although, parents spend what seems to be a lifetime preparing their children to be independent, in my case, I was not prepared to be separated from my children.  It is like losing a part of me and that I now have to adjust my life.  But it is not simply adjusting.  It appear that it requires a lot of time getting used to the change.  

This period in my life, however, is not all that grim.  Things may be so different now but the situation brings me to a different level of growth which started when my first child went away to Wisconsin for her job.  God used the situation to teach me very hard lessons on giving up control (101).  I thought I barely passed.  But now with my second child I am now put in another upper level class - giving up control and trusting God (202).  I must admit, this is a difficult subject.  The lab exercises are excruciating.  However, I am learning to depend on God in a real way.  I'm learning to say to Him, "God they are Your children before they are mine.  So I trust them in your hands."  I am not only learning to give up control over the welfare of my children but most importantly I recognize whom I can transfer my control into.  

The picture above is a collection of snap shots from the four locations of my family taken today within a period of thirty minutes.  It serves as a reminder to me that God is with His children no matter where they are.  Things are going well.  And it is not because of me.  It is all because the Ruler has everything under control.

   

 Parenting brings unintended maturity.

Just a thought on Social Media

A beautiful pine cone I picked up on one of our morning walks. 

If only social media did not cater to self-promotion, self-absorption, pride and comparison;  if only social media did not promote envy, hate, and cynicism;  if only social media did not provide a stage for superiority complex; if only social media was a means to reach out for the sake of reaching instead of climbing our own ladder; if only social media did not morph into an anti-social media... If only...

But alas, social media mirrors that which goes on in the real world.  The good things I do are often ruined by some shrouded intentions of my heart.  The seemingly innocent acts are tainted by my selfish motives.  The impressions I have on others are a highly if not completely determined first by what I think of myself.  Alas, self gets in the way of every good opportunity to be a good social being.

Sometimes the root of the problem is the 

only solution to the problem.