What Do I Want To Do - 2018

The Question.  The first day of winter was a clear sunny day.  It was cold but the sun was warm.  Tim just got back from one of his trips to Asia.  It is good to have him back, we could walk and talk.  His question this time was unexpected:  "What do you want to do next year?"  Coincidentally,  I was ready with one answer.  That made our discussion very lively.   Then I asked him the same question.  He was not prepared for an answer.  It is unbelievable because he is the one who is always forward-looking.  Could it be that my answer derailed his intended answer?  So I said, we can answer the question according to the different areas of life because there we definitely have many ideas which are not sufficient to sum up what each of us want to do for the whole year.  And yet if I think about it, all those little goals that we want to do and accomplish, if we want to make it count, better lead to the big goal of our being.

My Thought.  Next year I will be sixty.  A year older and hopefully better than myself in 2017.  That does not mean super performance,  instead it is a means of motivating myself to strive forward.  At some point one must try to thwart the effect of age while we can.  What that means in detail will not be mentioned now so that it won't get jinxed.  This should be easy to measure because I have last year as basis for my progress.  But not really.  I need to use some time to really reflect on how I lived last year; how my resources were allocated - my time, my thoughts, my energy, my money, my words, my artistic abilities, my internet access, my food, etc.  How much was dedicated to express love to myself and how much was dedicated to express love for God and others.  What did I do to make myself look good and how much was intended to glorify God.  These are easy to answer if I do not consider the motives in my heart.  How much did I do mainly to look good in the eyes of people?  Only I can answer the question.   It requires honesty and sincerity.  I can't keep fooling myself.  Time is running against me and I do not have a good measure of how much is left for me.  But I have control over how I will use that time - one day at a time.  One day I will see my Lord face to face and when that time comes will I have the face to look at him?   Will I be able to say that I have spent my days on earth building a good relationship with him, pleasing him?  Or will I be so ashamed that I didn't know him well because have spent my time here on earth making trying to preserve my life and manage my image subconsciously reflecting the sinfulness of my heart?  Lord help me.  

What do I want to do next year?  Let me think again.

Unadulterated Life.  I looked at the trees around where we were walking and I envied them for they know exactly what they do next year.  Plants have only one inherent purpose in life - to multiply themselves.  All the things a tree undergoes every year, growing, flowering, fruiting, and even going dormant, etc., all lead to the big purpose of the plant.  What's more interesting is that in the process the tree also provides shelter and food for other created things around it.  I envy the trees for they are not plagued with the need to impress that interferes with their purpose. 

Man is also vested with an inherent purpose during his time on earth - to match the nature of his creator and to love his fellowmen.

 "Begin, be bold, and venture to be wise."

~ Horace ~