Wednesday, December 21, 2016

My Faith was Provoked

Life is never stagnant no matter what we think of it.  Even when we think nothing is happening life is moving.  It travels through a loop that is segmented into different seasons. Although these seasons are seemingly predictable in their nature, the intensity of the elements are unpredictable and so is our response to them.

Three days ago, our family was put in a very and scary situation.  We were on our way to visit my in-laws for an early Christmas get-together.  When we started our 6-hour drive, Tim was feeling an upset stomach.  He thought it was symptoms of stomach flu but he did not have the other flu symptoms.  We made it to the hotel but that night he could not sleep - he took some tums and other over-the counter stomach remedies but no significant effect was observed.  The following day we headed to my in-laws house for breakfast but Tim was increasingly uncomfortable - now in agony .  My mother in-law suggested that he goes to the ER which is five minutes walk from their house- really near!  He refused at first but then he thought he really needed to go see a doctor.  So we brought him there.  There was not waiting time he was immediately seen.  Brahms offered to go and sit with him.   After numerous texts from Brahms updating us on all the tests they were doing - they found something unusual.  His pancreas was inflamed.  That is very scary!  After five hours in the ER, and after experts did their share of interpreting the blood tests and images of his internal anatomy, they decided that they don't have a way of knowing what was causing the inflammation and recommended that he sees his doctor with all the reports they made.  They gave him pain medication to help him in the mean time.

That night as my drugged (hydrocodone) husband sleeps, I remained awake.  Induced by the unknown, thoughts, ran through my mind one after the other.  Like a storm bashing everything on its way into destruction, my imagination went too far.  And as a result I couldn't calm myself to sleep anymore.  I was too busy wondering how life would be without my husband.  My faith was provoked. So I prayed and prayed and prayed that night.

The following day, Tim was feeling much better,  He didn't need the heavy-duty pain med anymore.  He was fine with Aleeve,  He even drove half of the way home!  I praised my God!!!
Today, the symptoms are gone and he went to see his doctor as directed.  The doctor reviewed all reports from the ER saw nothing worth noting.  He wants to do another CAT scan after two weeks to see what he could see then.  So far, I have nothing to be scared about.  God is good.

The unknown is often frightening.  However, the knowledge that God, who knows all things, is on my side is comforting.  He does not shield me from experiencing the unknown because he uses it to shake me - to awaken and revive my docile faith into full energy again.  And yet, he is always there watching and making sure I am fine.  On the other hand, the blissful spring and summer of life, if I'm not careful, desensitizes me of God's presence in my life. When autumn and winter threatens to pluck away what I subconsciously replaced God with from time to time, my senses come to full alertness to the truth that God is the center of my life and everything I have is in his hands.

Let my faith grow stronger with every passing season 
- whether enjoyed or endured.

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